51: (Part 2 of 2) Claire Nazar Director of Kalco Law And LifeBuilders.com.sg: Find Your Balance Between Work And A Successful Marriage
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(Part 2 of 2) Claire Nazar Director of Kalco Law And LifeBuilders.com: Find Your Balance Between Work And A Successful Marriage
FWEP00051 Claire Nazar
Today, we have a special guest her name is Claire Nazar, director of Kalco Law and also Lifebuilders. Claire is a very down to earth lady and because of this I want to guest her story out there and share it with you and I hope that you like it.
DIscover your calling and be passionate to achieve it!
Your calling is where you can apply your talents and where you feel you can help on other people. Fulfill your calling outside your comfort zone. Ms. Claire shared:
(01:15-01:44) Yes I had a lot of family time. But I was also struggling with the fact that I didn’t feel fulfilled personally. Yes, none just basically going to job 9 to 5, feed the family but I don’t have a sense of personal achievement and that was when, you know, my husband was saying to me, have you thought about just coming out and starting up your practice in the way that you would like it to be and so I did a bit of soul searching and that’s why I joined Kalco Law LOC so we are 5 directors.
(01:52-02:15) She’s for the very poor family lawyer even though she does the divorce work but she’s for poor family offices, very very poor family. Sometimes her kids will come over to work, we bring them to work so stuff like that so we have a very family friendly environment and that’s when I started thinking about what I really wanted to do? I mean with my legal expertise in which what I really wanna cover?
(02:16-03:00) I thought about all the mitigation cases I had. They always involved follow ups between directors, company directors and usually they start of as friends. Friends who then say, we’ve got a dream, great idea, less pump of money they start a business and the next thing you know they are arguing and suing one another that’s why I come in. So I was thinking instead of damage control, why not prevention? Just as same reason seek passion why education work is simply because I think prevention can help. You can help couples prevent themselves from going the wrong road. I’m sure we can also prevent in the area of business, you know, young start-ups entrepreneurs form going down the wrong road.
Why documents are important?
Documents create a good relationship and will avoid conflicts that may happen in the future. Ms. Claire mentioned why documents are important mostly in business.
(03:31-04:12) Well the very first line of the bed is you got to really know the person you are dealing with. Check out their friends, check out from your business contacts that this is person is trustworthy that’s one thing. And the other thing I must say is more of a no no. Don’t deal with somebody who’s not willing to sign a contract with you, black and white. If they discuss terms of business on how we gonna run things right in the beginning. In my experience is that why I end up defending my clients in court or suing the other side on behalf of my clients is usually because of contract.
(04:42-05:11) So to me is this if a person takes offense in you drafting a contract that’s already a signal, a red flag that should go over and say no, no! Because if you are forthright as a person you shouldn’t have any problems making good on you wordly promise and of course you are entering a business where you are entering into a legal relationship. There should be a proper way for you to exit from the company. Proper way for you to assess how your profits should be split.
(05:53-06:10) A document is important because everything that’s in there is exactly what you agreed. You can check the terms just to be sure. Is this what we have agreed on, if it’s not? Then you should talk about it before you signed on the dotted line so that when you sign it you can say this is all we have discussed.
Ms. Claire shared her vision and her belief as she continues to help married couples. Ms. Claire shared:
(07:24-08:02) I would say that there’s no harm in actually going to see a lawyer for consultation and before you see a lawyer for consultations, ask the lawyer or the law firms how much does it cost. Just say, you know, how much the charge. Different law firms charge differently so you can get people who charge you maybe 300 to 500 or base on the lawyers’ experience they will charge according to the charge at rate for one hour but I always tell people, look usually if you have an idea on what you want to do for your business you probably don’t need more than 1 hour of lawyers’ time.
(09:02-09:38) What happened was that, my client, actually ask me to draft some terms, extended terms and conditions in which I advise and look, you gotta be entering not just one contract you can be entering into several contracts and of course like your own company’s master template so what happened is that, he closed a deal with one client, with one of his customers and his customer referred another customer to him. Now when he sent the extended terms and conditions contract over the first thing that this company said was I want to deal with you because I can see you do things properly.
(09:40-10:05) You are credible because of the fact that your contract, I can see, is well drafted so my client then gave me feedback and said Hey, thanks so much. I know this contract you drafted like a few times over, a few months ago but because he was doing regular business and he was just entering and giving this contract to his clients to sign, this is the first time he had gotten a big deal, closed a big deal.
(10:44-11:12) Get staffing contracts if you gonna have staff then get staffing contract that will be necessary. Also, we need to look at the nature of your business. Are you dealing with a lot of suppliers? Are you a distributor for some product? We need to see what are some contracts that you will need. Now obviously right from the right goal, you make sure that you have a business agreement drafted up between your partners whether shareholders, depending on what kind of company set up or corporate set up you have business entity that you have.
(11:34-11:42) A lot of these disputes can be settled if you have agreed right from the start, in shareholders agreement, in business partnership’s agreement what you are looking for.
(12:46-13:22) If the parties are reasonable and they are able to talk it through then of course, we will get them to sign a settlement agreement because by that time there’s a follow up and you probably will not have had a proper business partnership at the start all you could have but not nothing has changed and parties want more or less so that’s where we would draft up a settlement agreement and show that the parties, they part nicely on whatever agreed terms they had and one of the key things is to make sure your settlement agreement that you keep things confidential.
(14:55-15:37) That’s always a possibility. We’ll see how that develops but of course my vision in my own personal life is really the same motto as my marriage certification program which is the tag line which is Successful Relationships, Successful lives. I think as you know litigation is usually a break down of relationship and they kind of agree with things so they have to fight it out in court. In our own lives it doesn’t have to be in a marriage situation just even in work or anywhere that you have people you cared about, can we build something successful from there? And then you find that you’re at peace on one another.
(15:51-16:32) A lot of times business failures are also due to a lot of emotional issues like go on relationship break down and I think it goes together. You can’t look at successful life without looking at successful relationships. There’s no point in being the CEO of your big company and you’ve got like 5 failed marriages. I do understand this and it’s really heartbreaking. I’m not saying, I’m not not condemning them, I’m just saying that you know when I look at situations like that my heart goes out to them because I tell myself, if only things can be done differently perhaps there will be more skills, perhaps there could have been other ways that could save the marriage.
Love is friendship.
Choose a partner who is good for you and keep choosing that person. Choose to love each other even in the darkest days in your lives. Ms. Claire shared:
(17:06-17:47) I think one would definitely have to say is shared faith. My husband and I we do have shared faith, the same religion and I think that is also statistically proven that when a couple shares the same religious beliefs and even do share activities together in the religious community, it goes a long way in terms of marriage satisfaction so I personally experienced that. The second thing, obviously, you have to have a long term view. Don’t look at the things that irritate you now about your partner and say that this is beyond and I’m gonna walk out of here.
(18:20-18:51) Sometimes it is tough but I think one of the key things is that for us, is that whenever we are very frustrated with one another about something, we may have talked about it already and may not give solution to, is just to learn to take that breather yourself and say that, look, I have to be stronger than this. I gotta be strong not just for my husband and for my children but for myself and so this is where I find that one of the key things, I will say the second point is you need time alone.
(18:54-19:30) You need time alone to reflect. Count your blessings. Keep things in perspective and realize that your husband is not the devil that you think he is. And say that there are some good things you can appreciate and focus there. One of the things that a lot of marriage counsel will say and this I’ve seen, I’ve heard of testimonies where they gotten bickering couples right to say Don’t do anything but just thank each other for everything they’ve done. Even when you wanna bite your tongue and say, thank you very much for making that coffee for me that’s it, do it.
(19:52-20:18) Putting that positivity is so important. If you can just be, you know, just give that little bit of positivity to somebody for the day. Even if it's just a kind word, you know, say it! Don’t hold back. Say, hey thanks, that’s a job well done, just say it. You’ll be surprised when you are more generous with compliments or any of thanks, these are the little things that you can do so that’s the second tip.
Do not lose hope. Just believe!
Never lose hope of doing what you love as advised by Ms. Claire. There will be things and even persons that will help you attain your goals.
(20:39-20:59) Last one is don’t give up hope. There is always resources for you to tend to whenever you are, you know, you find yourself at the right block. I’m amazed by the number of resources I can find, you gonna kindle, Amazon, stuff like that and even connect with people whom you might never dream of connecting with.
(21:17-21:38) I don’t do the counseling myself like I said. I am connected with people I know to social services industry and I’m telling you it’s not a stigma to ask for help, you know, because really people think seeing a social worker it just means you’ve hit a root bump and maybe you just need one session, just one hour.
(22:59-23:39) What I would say that you know, be thankful for your husband. Even if you might feel like I’m not getting really all the support I can get from him because I know tough women entrepreneurs especially their husbands are not really in the same business with you. I’ve seen cases where women entrepreneurs have husbands who are actually working side by side with them, you know at the same business and they are speaking and they are working together so that’s great. Even theres’ challenges, I would say that for women entrepreneurs is just be reminded, your husbands are not perfect. No one is ever gonna be perfect and you married him for good reason.
Key Takeaways:
- Be grateful for your partner in life.
- Real people are not perfect.
- Family time is the best time.
- Sometimes you have got to see things positively.
- Documents are important for future concerns.
Key Resources:
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