121: Elena Cardone And Grant Cardone Having Women In Power
Elena Cardone And Grant Cardone
Genecia Alluora
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Elena Cardone: Like I said I was very independent I didn't want to depend on a man for anything the first few years of our relationship which is why I wasted five years. We had that power struggle because I'm very independent. I'm fiercely like protective of who I am and I didn't want anyone to control me or think I'm going to just now become and I had this idea that a housewife was so demeaning. Which is now not what I think at all like you know I had so many misconceptions I thought the relationship was just about being monogamous and that was it. But now I'm like I'm going to be a housewife and now I realize it's it could really like expand you even bigger and more powerful than you ever imagine. Same thing with the woman role I thought housewife was like so demeaning and now I realize no people just don't understand what that means.
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Genecia Alluora: A strong and independent woman is something to behold. She pays her own bills, buys her own things, and she doesn't let a man affect her stability or self-confidence. She is a Soul Rich Woman. Are you ready to be rich, doing what you love? Be on purpose and in control of your life again. And For Women Who Love the F-word Podcast, we will be openly talking about getting more clients online, getting recognition as the leader and female entrepreneur, and also the F word. Being fabulous, having freedom and financial independence. It's time to own and love the F word. Welcome to the show.
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Genecia Alluora: On this week's episode of Soul Rich Woman TV we have Elena Cardone with us now she has shed really powerful nuggets of her wisdom over the years as she transited from being an actress all the way to being the woman of influence. Trailblazing next to Grant Cardone not only in their business but also having a very powerful relationship. So I want you to stay tuned and we're definitely going to look forward to what she has for you on this episode.
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Genecia Alluora: Today in Marina Basins here in Singapore we have a really special guest with us all the way from Miami her name is Elena Cardone. Elena would you like to introduce yourself?
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Elena Cardone: Thank you so much it's such an honor to be here. Yeah I'm from Miami. I've been all over and I'm this is my first time in Singapore so it was it's really an honor to meet you here today.
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Genecia Alluora: And you just launched your book recently would you like to share with us a little bit more about your book?
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Elena Cardone: Yes, I wrote a book called Build An Empire, How To Have It All. The book was really designed to fast track any person who wants to have a lot of success in their life not only financially but also financially but also with spiritually or emotionally. I just, I believe that we can have it all it is a myth that scarcity is a myth. And I wanted to get people to think big enough fast enough and cut out all the years that it took me to figure out how to get to where I am now. And put it in this book to help somebody as a guide to just get them there a lot faster than it took me.
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Genecia Alluora: Yeah, and I love that in fact you look at it and you're like the trailblazing woman of influence you grew from where you were before and then you hit it and then you keep moving and then pushing it through today. What were some of your biggest struggles during the times when you were growing up and then going to the journey?
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Elena Cardone: Well I grew up, I was born in Madrid Spain as an Smerican citizen on Spanish soil I moved to the States when I was one. I grew up in Garlands, Louisiana. I was kind of a tomboy. I was never bullied. I was tough you know. And I never did any bullying. And so I lived pretty I pretty much had an idyllic childhood until the age of 13 when my father knocked on my bedroom door at about four o'clock in the morning and said Elena, Goldie's house is on fire. Goldie was my very best friend who lived across the street and I was still groggy and whatnot and then he said and Goldie and her mom are still in the house. And when I heard those words Goldie and her mom are still in the house. I jetted out of bed and I ran across the street and you know we were there before the fire department. I'm trying we're trying to do buckets of water and hoses and long story short her and her mother did not survive in that incident.
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Elena Cardone: And so at 14 years old, not having anything so traumatic occur in my life. I just wasn't skilled enough at that age to deal with something like that and my father had fought in world war and he was um a military person. And my mom we're just very conservative family so it wasn't like there was any time to really cope it was life must go on. You know, so the very next day I stayed home from school that day and the very next day I was expected to go to school and I did go to school. But it was traumatizing because there was so much pain involved and so that was the real challenge was getting through the age of 14 to 17 having to confront this burned out house across the street and so much anguish going on inside of me and America's not like Singapore. Drugs and alcohol are especially in New Orleans. New Orleans is known as being a party town so I had all of that accessible to me.
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Elena Cardone: So I kind of dove into the drug and alcohol world for a few years and I feel like that was kind of a setback. So at 17 I decided I've got to get out of here I'm going to Los Angeles. I'm going to make I'm going to do something I'm going to become an actress. So I went there to become a model and an actress I was somewhat successful. I did a two and a half month contract in Tokyo. I worked two weeks in Taipei. I modeled there and then I was on acting shows and commercials and I would kind of had up and down career until I met Grant. And then when I met Grant the first five years of our marriage I was still doing this women's independent thing like we were married and I thought a marriage was about monogamy I didn't realize I mean it is about that but I thought it was only about that.
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Elena Cardone: I didn't realize that if you actually partner up with someone it's what you said it's strength in numbers. And but once in 2008 when the economic collapse occurred that's when I decided to trade in my acting career which I was terrified to do at the time because it's what I depended on for my survival since I moved to Los Angeles by myself at 17. So now I'm 30 when I got married. So 17 to 30 I'm miss independent taking care of myself I don't need a man for anything don't you tell me nothing about nothing about nothing about nothing. You know what I'm saying. I got to be in control and then Grant comes along at 30. I'm like oh my god I'm going to marry him at four or so years later the economy collapses. I say I'm trading this in I had to deal with confronting my parents saying I'm giving up my acting career. I'm going to go support my husband. Well, what does that even look like support your husband? How do you support your husband?
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Elena Cardone: He's the breadwinner, you know. But I traded in to trade up because I had this vision about this empire which I know sounded psychotic at the time because we were under a lawsuit. We, our business, our entire business as we knew it we were under a lawsuit and we were under a lawsuit and we were under a lawsuit and we were under a lawsuit and we were under a lawsuit and I was devastated like it didn't even exist anymore. And so but I knew that he had the entrepreneurial skills. He was further down the field than I was. So I back, I put all of my resources behind him. What do you need? how can we get our create our way out of this? How are we going to design our lives to never have anything happen to us financially again to where we decide what our empire looks like? And we're going to dictate how we live not have to depend on other people. Of course we depend on other people, we have clients and people we have to cater to but we're not going to wait from the blessing from the higher ups to say yes you can have this and yes you can have that with our life. We wanted to take that power in our own hands.
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Elena Cardone: So I had this idea about this empire of like, okay if he is the king and I am the queen and this is our Empire. What do I want it to look like? who do I want to surround ourselves with? Do we hang out with the people doing the drugs and the alcohol? And if we do what does that make our Empire look like? So we really cleaned up our lives and who we were around and I really went like you did at 14 really all in on work, work, work, work, work. We did not do the dinners I was not buying fancy clothes or any name brand it was it was minimalistic until we were on our own feet and could take care of ourselves again and had these viable businesses. Once those became successful then it was like we could branch back out and go back into helping others. Now we're at a point where we've created so much success in our life financially, we do have financial freedom not just financial independence at this point.
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Elena Cardone: So now I feel like it is my duty being this little girl from New Orleans who was never supposed to make it this far. I have some ideas and some tips that are just little tiny tweaks how to work with a partner a business partner, a lover. a husband, a wife, whatever. A little a few little adjustments to do this operating at the same page so that you can really utilize each other's horsepower to push yourself instead of without even realizing it working against each other. Which you know you might go like this or you might just go straight down you know. But if you actually know how to work together and know what each role is and what the strengths and the weaknesses are and how can y'all build together and really push yourself up. And just eliminate a few maybe incorrect pieces of datum because if they say no you're not going to be able to do it you're not going to be able to do it knowledge is power, well, what is bad knowledge then?
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Elena Cardone: So if you get rid of a few bad key elements or ideas and then tweak and get on the same page, it's so much easier than you think. It's still going to be work. There's still going to be sacrifice. It's still going to take time. But you will be able to exponentially up the rocket faster.
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Genecia Alluora: I love your energy, Elena. In fact, I see so much, you know, you're overcoming and, you know, go-getter. But a lot of the women are holding back. A lot of them are thinking, you know, I have kids to feed. I have to take care of my husband. I have to be in charge of the household. I don't have time. What should I do? What would you say?
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Elena Cardone: Stop thinking so much. Unless it's a broad picture of possibilities. You have to become like a Samurai, you know? A Samurai doesn't see, yes, you'll have challenges or barriers, but they're in the process. They're able to see beyond that. Start looking for the possibilities. Start looking for the opportunities. Sometimes your biggest problem can be your biggest solution. Whether it's to help you out in the family or whether it could be your creative financial, something you can actually monetize over. Because if you're having that problem and you figure out how to solve it, chances are if you solve that for other people, you can scale that business up. You might just have a business in your hand. So I would say to them, like, if you need to have help, if you need to hire somebody while you figure this out, don't feel like you have to be superhero and do everything yourself.
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Elena Cardone: At some point, maybe have your friend help you until you can afford to pay someone to help you. But you've got to just go out and do. Do something. Take action. Stop thinking and do. And you can do even if your knees are trembling because you're terrified. You can still do even if you think it's not going to work and you feel ridiculous. You can still do even if you think it's not going to work. I feel ridiculous every single day since the day I started Muay Thai a year ago. Every single day. I walk into the gym. I'm with trained professionals. And I feel ridiculous. I feel like I look heinous. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. And I do it anyway. And every day I get a little bit better. And every day I feel completely stupid. They're looking at me. They're thinking there's no hope for this girl. She does not have a clue what she's doing. And every day I'm like, put the headgear on. Today I'm willing to try. Today I'm willing to try sparring. Today you're actually going to punch me in the face. I'm going to be okay with that.
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Genecia Alluora: You are basically taking it into your stride and just go for it.
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Elena Cardone: Yes. My point is it doesn't matter what you think. Most people can't. They don't know what you're thinking. Do it anyway. Just take an action. Any action. Even if it's the wrong action.
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Genecia Alluora: Yep. I love that. Earlier on you mentioned in your story you talk about how you gave up your entire modeling, acting career and to go support Your husband.
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Elena Cardone: Yes.
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Genecia Alluora: Tell us. I'm so curious about this part because a lot of the women find, you know, in this we call power struggle. There's always this power struggle happening and they don't see like a balance. It's more like, okay, you're dominant and you are submissive. That's not the case, right? So how do you first take on that, not say challenge, but I would say take on that mindset to move into that behind the scenes or kind of a partnership role with Grant? And then how did you eventually became that beast in your own way? You know, doing, I read in your bio, you know, your PR, you're doing all the household and you're doing so many things for the business as well. So tell us more a little bit about that.
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Elena Cardone: Well, we, but like I said, I was very independent. I didn't want to depend on a man for anything. The first few years of our relationship, which is why I wasted five years. We had that power struggle because I'm very independent. I'm fiercely like protective of, of who I am. And I didn't want anyone to control me or think I'm going to just now become. And I had this idea that a housewife was so demeaning, which is now not what I think at all. Like, you know, I had so many misconceptions. I thought the relationship was just about being monogamous and that was it. But now I realize it's, it could really like expand you even bigger and more powerful than you ever imagined. Same thing with the woman role. I thought housewife was like so demeaning. And now I realize, no, people just don't understand what that means.
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Genecia Alluora: So tell us what that means.
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Elena Cardone: So what that means is you, when you figure out who does what in the relationship, and I don't care who does what I don't care if it's male or female, it's who has what strengths. Grant, brought to the table, this business strength of his, I'm an actress. I was an artist. I don't know anything about finances. I don't know anything about business. For me to try to battle with him in that area, just because I have to be high and powerful and almighty is ridiculous, you know? And it just so happened once we had kids, I just innately am a good mother. I understand motherhood. He's a horrible mother, by the way, he's an incredible father, like great father teaches the kids to be bold and wonderful, but a horrible mother. When I realized this, I could have him in my life, like without trying to kill him because he'll take the kid to the grocery store in 30 degree weather, wearing, nothing but little tiny shorts and a tank top. While he buries himself up like horrible mother, like common sense as a mother, he has none.
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Elena Cardone: But when we figured out our roles in the relationship, first of all, even before we do that, when you know where you want to go as a, as a couple, what are your goals as a couple? Not just me and not just him, but what are your goals as a couple? Do you want to be a model couple that inspires others? What do you want? What do you want your relationship to look like? Are you the couple that everyone feels uncomfortable to be around because y'all are fighting all the time? Is that what you want? What is your brand as a couple? We do. We want to have financial freedom. Do you want to be able to travel the world on your own plane and take the kids and homeschool them and let them learn the language of the world, the cultures of the world? What is it that you want?
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Elena Cardone: If that's what you want, then break it down from there. What do we need? We have to have this finances in order. We have to make these sacrifices that took years. Then that required. Quite a lot of communication. It requires communication. It requires same page. It requires. If you want something that big, which I believe you should go for. That's what an empire is all about. You know, if you want something that big, you can no longer afford to fight over the little stuff. You'll never get there. You have to get completely on the same page. Know your roles. I run everything in the business. I mean, sorry, I run everything in the household to every decision that the kids do. Every decision he might have. He might consult me and we can talk about it, but in the end it's my decision and he has to back me on that. And he does back me and support me on that.
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Genecia Alluora: But not everyone or all men in the family is like Grant, right? So how did you actually get him to listen?
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Elena Cardone: Well, yeah, we.
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Genecia Alluora: Because as a woman, we, sometimes we know when the guys come home, they are so naggy or they, they, they shut up about their work and they say, no, I'm so tired, you know, and, that's it. Right? And we women were at home. We are like frustrated with the household. The kids are running all around the house is messy. And how do you cope with?
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Elena Cardone: You cope with it by going, look, this is the big picture. This is what I want. I understand that Grant is the beast at the business. And sometimes that's hard for him to cut off. And I understand that is a sacrifice that I have to pay that when he comes in the door and he's all gripey and irritable, that I'm taking one for the team. In those moments. I know who he is as a man. I know he loves and protects women and children. He loves me. He treats me with respect. So if he's in a bad mood and I have to like be complained to or whatnot, you know, usually I just try to get him a meal and get out of the way. Or, you know, just try to like give him, his space to kind of shut out what just occurred at the office life. But I need him to be a beast in an animal. And I can't expect him to just do that. All the time and then shut it off and be romantic lover at home.
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Elena Cardone: I wish that were the case. I would love that. I'm a woman who doesn't want that, but it's not reality. I don't live in a fairy tale. So these are sacrifices. You have to stop thinking about what you think everything is supposed to look like and learn how to deal and cope and come up with your own solutions. Like how do I deal when he comes home with this? How do I prepare myself to a, where I don't take it personally? How can I like, I've learned that protein and a little bit of protein, a little bit of food goes a long way with him. You know, what is it that you have to look at? And that's my role. I want to make the home environment very comfortable. I want him to be able to relax really easily. So I try, you know, I hire a housekeeper to keep the house clean because I don't have time to do it anymore. And we're at the place now where we've expanded in our empire. But am I willing to clean the house? Absolutely. Am I willing to clean a toilet? Absolutely. Nothing is beneath or below me or whatever I do, whatever it takes for us to achieve our goals together.
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Genecia Alluora: You're willing to listen to him. You're willing to understand his needs before yours. So that when you put everything together, it's on the right point, right? Wow.
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Elena Cardone: And it's not, it's not always that I put his needs before my needs, because I think it's important that I'm fulfilled as well. You know, so, but us as a couple is more important than me as an individual, but I need to, to fulfill myself as an individual so that I can give 100% to the couple. So all of my activities that I do that fulfill me, my Muay Thai, my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, you know, the women empowerment stuff that I do, the philanthropy work that I do, all of those things feed me to step up and to be strong enough to do this, to be confident enough to do this, because this is hard. I hate to be the one I hate when people say, Oh, because I don't want relationships to look like, Oh, it's so hard. But the facts are, if you're going to go for gold in life, if you're going to go for that Olympic gold medal, you're not going to find one athlete that has a gold medal that didn't have blood, sweat, and tears and didn't say it wasn't hard work.
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Elena Cardone: And why would it be any different in a relationship? We don't live in this fairytale world. Just get rid of that idea. I love rainbows and unicorns just like everybody else, but I don't live in a fairytale.
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Genecia Alluora: Yeah. I love, I love exactly what you said. And that's what I've been sharing with the women in our community, because a lot of them are still waiting for that Prince Charming on the white, beautiful.
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Elena Cardone: There's moments, there's moments of that maybe.
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Genecia Alluora: Yeah. Maybe but it's not, it's the reality, right? We have to do and be independent of who we are and what we are and be fulfilled as a woman before we can do more in the partnership in terms of the, either in a relationship, or in business, right? So I'm also very curious about you. When you were going through all these changes, were you ready to be a mother?
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Elena Cardone: No. I'm like, no. You know, I never thought I was ever going to get married or have children.
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Genecia Alluora: Because you said you were Miss Independent, right?
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Elena Cardone: Yes.
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Genecia Alluora: And a lot of us are very independent. So how did you, like, you know, tweak that?
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Elena Cardone: I made the switch. Well, I knew always that one day, like, so far in the future, maybe I would want kids. But then when I got married, Grant and I wrote a list. We actually wrote a list. I wrote everything that I wanted and needed in a man, in a relationship, if I were going to get married. And he wrote the same thing from his list. And then we shared lists. And his list was, I want to be married and I want to have kids. And then there was other things. And I was like... Uh-huh. Okay, married. Okay, yeah, I can do that. And then I was like, kids, I can do that. But I need to be married for two years first. Can you wait for that? Because I need to have two years as us as a foundation. And he was like, yes, I can do that. So we knew exactly what we were going for and we were working. It wasn't like we just blindly got married only to discover, like, maybe one of us didn't want to have kids. And then that could be a problem. And, you know, so we really figured it out.
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Genecia Alluora: And sent them and exchanged a list.
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Elena Cardone: Yeah, and then after we were married and I had the two years. I had the two years. I renegotiated for a third year. And then I was ready. Then I had a moment where something happened and I was ready. All of a sudden I was like, I am ready to have kids. I feel mature enough. I feel ready for kids. And then it took almost two years to have a kid. And it was natural. So I had five years.
I gave two natural births at my home. No drugs. Nothing. I delivered two babies at home. Natural.
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Genecia Alluora: That's so powerful. Very powerful.
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Elena Cardone: I feel so strong as a woman because of that experience. That I didn't have to depend on any drug other than my own endorphins. And I had that communication with each child as we went through that experience together. And, of course, I'm healthy enough and was healthy enough to have a home birth. And I did have a doctor there in case there was a problem. The hospital was only a mile or two away. So it was very safe conditions. But, yeah, I'm really, really proud that I experienced that in the way that I did. It was a beautiful experience.
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Genecia Alluora: I can see that on your face.
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Elena Cardone: It was so beautiful in my own home and surrounded by my friends. And no one took my baby away. She just literally came right here. And, you know, it was just so beautiful. There was a bonding moment. It was a bond. We just loved each other. It was so magical. And so it was so spiritual.
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Genecia Alluora: And now that you have become the woman that you have become, you know, you're with kids. And running the empire. And your women empowerment movement, what is that key driving force that keeps you going every single day? And when the moment you wake up, every moment, what's on your mind?
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Elena Cardone: Because I want as my legacy, I want to have created empire builders around the world. I want to be able to look myself in the face at the end of my life and say, I made a difference for the better on this world, on this planet. And the little lifetime that I had, I actually made a difference. Like it drives me. It moves me. I don't want to just have a normal life. I don't want to just get by and just exist. I want to make a dent. I want to be like, hey, world, here I was. I did something. I did it.
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Genecia Alluora: And it's to show that you can help more people, right?
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Elena Cardone: Yeah. I feel like I'm operating at 15% of my potential right now. It has me so frustrated because I am not doing enough. I am not being big enough. I am not. I am not doing everything that I can. And I get very frustrated by that. Like I have to do more. That's what wakes me up every single day. I'm so far behind where I'm supposed to be. You know what I mean?
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Genecia Alluora: Yeah, I know that. I can feel that within you. It's just like the same thing for me. Waking up every day and pushing it because I want to help more. Yeah. There are a lot of women out there. We should work together.
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Elena Cardone: We should. Let's do it. We'll figure it out. We will. This will not be the last time we meet.
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Genecia Alluora: Yes, definitely. For you right now, when you are, you're saying that you're not doing enough and you want to help more people. What is that? What is that number or that pieces that you want to really equip women with?
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Elena Cardone: I want to equip women with what you said, the confidence. I want women to mine their own gold. Who are they? What are they and who are they as not only a brand, but as their contribution and not withhold that from the world? Like if we all lived up to our potential or tried to or fought for the greatness, what would that, how could that impact the world? We could make a difference. It wouldn't just be a fairy tale idea in my head. Like there would be real transformation. If people actually delivered their gifts and I want women to expose that and give it to the world and stop withholding and stop thinking they're not good enough and stop thinking they have nothing to contribute. It's selfish. Women are so powerful and so dynamic and contribute and they're so aesthetic. Just imagine if the world operated on that aesthetic wavelength, you know, how would a difference just that could make?
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Genecia Alluora: It would make a hundred percent. It would make a huge difference and we will be much more powerful than where we are than now. Right.
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Elena Cardone: Yeah. And imagine the children, like women who could rear children to be that from the beginning. So confidence, you know, healthy, happy, trying to make a difference, fitting in in society, not, not fit in traditionally like, I have to do this, but fit in like as a, as a real contributor to make a difference for the better. Like imagine that.
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Genecia Alluora: Within your area of expertise, what do you think, what do you think is the one skill that every woman must have?
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Elena Cardone: In my area of expertise, every woman should have the skill of becoming an asset to themselves. They need to study, they need to study, learn, observe life. And then within that have a palette that they can move like mercury, you know, mercury in a thermometer. You, it can't be held, move. You can think analytically how to respond to whatever situation. It's not like you're just one way. And if something comes out, you just respond in that one way. No, a woman should have the ability and that skill to be whatever, do whatever, play every, be whatever she within her color palette to optimize the situation, to make it the outcome she wants. And not in a reactive way, but in a very artful and skillful way to where it looks like she just has this magical life that she's created, but it's all actually been beautifully orchestrated because of her intelligence, because of her skill, because of her education and her confidence and everything that she's developed within because she's invested that time and energy in herself.
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Genecia Alluora: It's basically investing in herself then. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of women. I hope that when you're watching this, I hope that you're inspired to invest in yourself as well. What is the one last message do you have for my audience today? Our community, Soul Rich Woman.
[00:29:48]
Elena Cardone: That America loves you. We welcome you. You know, just be a friend to yourself. I took me many, many, many years to actually become a friend to myself. But if you're a good friend, a really good friend. Like, let's say your best friend or your sister. And what are those attributes that you do for your friend and do them to yourself and be kind to yourself, you know, and don't have that. When you recognize that inner voice telling you that was stupid. You're so, why did you do that? And, oh, you messed up there and, oh, you were this or that, or how come you can't be perfect? Or, oh, I don't look good there. And so-and-so looks better and I'm not skinny enough and all the stuff that we do to ourselves. Just at that moment, just be a friend. Be a friend to yourself and go, okay, okay.
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Genecia Alluora: Wow. That was really, really a powerful message. So for you who's watching this right now or listening to our podcast, remember, be a friend to yourself. Elena, where can we buy your book?
[00:30:51]
Elena Cardone: Oh, well, you can go to elenacardone.com/empire. And I'm giving the book away. It's just shipping. So the book is free. You can also download the audio version as well. So if you go to elenacardone.com/empire, you can get the book or the audio program.
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Genecia Alluora: Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so honored that we are connected and I hope that I can continue to serve you as you build your dreams. And if you like this episode, and I hope that you did, rate it five stars. Give us that glowing review because it will help more women around the world finding these Soul Rich Woman podcast. Alone, you are strong. Together, we are unstoppable. Now share this with every woman who needs it, because this is how we are changing the world. One woman at a time. As always, get out of your comfort zone and go towards the dreams you've always wanted to achieve. For women who love the F word, being fabulous, having freedom, and financial independence. My dear Soul Rich Woman, sending you my love, and I'll speak to you soon. Bye for now.